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May 17, 2012
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I try to keep a positive outlook and not add to the general negativity of the internet, but some days just suck, you know?  I've been grinding away at this art career thing for seven years now (seven years?!), and sometimes it feels like I'm getting nowhere, or going backwards.  Before I took the plunge and went to art school, I was taking accounting classes.  Practical, right?  Talk about job security; if death and taxes are the only sure things, then you're always going to need accountants.

But no!  I thought, I'll follow my passion, my dream.  Fabulous.  But what is the point if you can't keep food on the table or a roof over your kid's head?  Dreams and passion alone don't pay the bills.

Accounting, though.  Accounting is practical!  It's objective.  It doesn't matter whether or not people like your work: what's to like?  Either the math is right or it isn't.  It's not a matter of taste, it's a matter of fact.

Maybe I'm gloomy because, even though this sketch card thing I've fallen into is fun, it doesn't really pay the bills, and it's not what I'd call artistically satisfying.  Isn't that a pretentious phrase?  "Artistically satisfying."  Bah.  And you know what else you fall into?  Ruts.  Maybe I'm in a rut?

I've just realized I've scheduled my entire "summer off," when I was planning to finish my novel, with official card sets.  That's awesome, right?  I'm busy, my art on these sets is desired--by the art directors, at least, even if the collectors don't seem to give much of a damn--life is good, right?  RIGHT?!

Yeah.  I guess this just isn't what I wanted to be doing with my life.  Grinding out hundreds of little bitty pieces of artwork for pennies an hour, never a minute of time for my own projects, my own creativity.  It's not that I want to be an accountant, maybe I'd just rather only be accountable to myself?
  • Mood: Gloomy
  • Listening to: Florence + the Machine
  • Reading: Makers, by Cory Doctorow
  • Watching: Cars
  • Drinking: coffee
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:icondekenicki:
Sorry I'm a little late replying to this, but I do understand what you mean. There comes a point in your life when you begint to wonder if all the suffering you put into what you want to do was worth it. It's like a karma bank - shouldn't you be successful when you've done so much for something? I remember when I was younger and I saw Forrest Gump for the first time, and there was that scene where his mom was like "I didn't know, but I was destined to be your mother." I used to be so disgusted with that scene. How could anyone just feel content being destined to be a mom?? I wanted to be famous, do something big, important. Something! But now as I get old, I realize what she meant. Sometimes the most important thing you can do with life is just live it. I don't know - I guess there's no real advice in here. But if you're in a rut, you have to remember why you are doing what you are doing. If you only want to write or draw to be successful, then you're basing your entire happiness on someone else - someone that will make you sucessful. But if you like drawing or writing for it's own sake - for the excitement of putting an idea no one has ever seen or heard of before onto paper for all the world to see - then your happiness comes from yourself.
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:iconcapnflynn:
~CapnFlynn May 20, 2012  Professional Filmographer
You've got a good point. I do write and draw because I love them, but that's not enough. "I love it" doesn't feed my son or pay my bills, and thus it becomes a source of stress. So I need to figure out how to go from "I love it" to "I love it, and it brings in enough income to make a difference." See? I don't even want wealth or fame; just a sufficiency! ^^
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:icondekenicki:
Ahhhh... I see your point. :C I suppose that's why I ended up joining the Army...
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:iconcapnflynn:
~CapnFlynn May 22, 2012  Professional Filmographer
Lol! Even more practical than accounting. ;p
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:icondekenicki:
And much more fun! :D
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:iconbey-fenn:
~Bey-Fenn May 17, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
How about this...spend some of this summer alone with God...talk to him about what the desires of your heart are artistically...then ask Him about the desires of His heart for you artistically...after all, your talent comes from Him...and He is the most creative being in the Universe...
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:iconcapnflynn:
~CapnFlynn May 17, 2012  Professional Filmographer
Now that is one of the best ideas I've heard yet.

You're right, of course. You are so so right. Thanks, friend! :hug:
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:iconbey-fenn:
~Bey-Fenn May 17, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Your welcome friend.
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:iconamani-ishikawa:
Yep I know just where you are coming from, friend. I've been trying to get a teaching job for the past three years, and in the meantime, I've been working as a classroom aide for very little. On top of that, my district does not pay us aides a 12 month salary like all the other districts do, and on top of that, I am finding myself without a summer job because the one I was trying to get (and thought I had) screwed me over, and I DON'T want to go work nights and weekends in the Wal-Mart deli cutting meat and cheese with my four-year degree, even for a summer. I find it quite degrading that they want to hire me to handle food, work until midnight, and work weekends and holidays when I have LONG been done with that crap.

So why don't I consider pursuing another career? Actually, I am. At least so I can pay my student loans and make more than $10K a year. But even that would be temporary because I can't really see myself doing anything else BUT teaching. I guess you just have to think about what makes you happy.
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:iconcapnflynn:
~CapnFlynn May 17, 2012  Professional Filmographer
:nod: It's true. But at the same time, one has to balance "happy" and "practical." And I've noticed, the stresses of not being able to pay the bills sort of offset the happiness of "yay, I'm doing what I love."

What other career are you considering?
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